mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
this just has baby written all over it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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