Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Damn victory sex feels great
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
