I wannas sexs uuuuu
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
