garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think I won the penis lottery.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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