He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
