can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
