Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
