my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize