Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
