...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
