Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
