And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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