you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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