i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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