you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
