Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
