HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
