why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
