are you so shy because you have an std?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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