he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
