Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize