i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Bring me that man meat
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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