my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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