I think im going to throw up on grandma
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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