just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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