Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
