It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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