His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
