yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
