What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
