Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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