she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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