As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
