dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
