the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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