your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In America we eat man semen.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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