I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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