Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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