Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
