I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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