So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
