I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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