If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
