Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
