dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
