But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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