I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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