I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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