Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
