have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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