Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize