so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
