Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
