she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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