I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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