I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
