Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
