I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize