Plan B is the new Plan A
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
