is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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