Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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