Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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