i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
this is an emotional support booty call
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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