I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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