He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
