I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
