eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
